Passion can lead to purpose. Passion is what gets you started, Purpose is what keeps you going. Three steps to help uncover your Purpose: 1) State your Intention; 2) Ask the Right Question; and 3) Nonattachment to the Physical Form.
Even when doing your best to avoid chaos and toxic individuals, messy situations can still happen. Never loose sight of who you are, and never let others change who you are. Analyze the situation, make the necessary changes and move on.
If the year 2020 taught us anything, it has taught us how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Only when you’re uncomfortable does change happen. Within all of the pain and suffering that has emerged in 2020, seek one thing that you can be grateful for.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that the thoughts in our head represent who we are as a person. Basically, what I think is who I am. So consider this, many of our thoughts and beliefs come from outside of us. For example, family myths, beliefs, folklore and practices that have been handed down for many generations that has nothing to do with us. Granted family traditions are important and should be honored, but they should not overshadow our purpose for being here, and nor should they take away our ability to create something new from nothing. Our social class, race, physical appearance, political affiliation, religion and so much more are some of the things we identify with but it’s not who we are. When we identify with these thoughts in our mind, we see others as different from us. When we see someone as different, then we lose the ability to relate to them, which brings forth the Ego. Ego is the “I” or “me” that sees things outside itself as “others”. In order for the Ego to survive it must feel superior to anything outside itself. So if the Ego is superior, then the Other must be inferior. Hence forth comes the complaining, resentment, name-calling, and gossiping directed at the Other. The Ego needs tension in order to remain relevant.
As I watched my daughter play the last Volleyball game for the school season, I couldn’t help but be extremely proud of her growth as a player. I was also extremely proud of a player on the opposing team who too had refined her volleyball skills. As I was leaving the gym I saw the mother of the opposing player, we hugged and exchanged compliments about the girls. Then she asked me if I remembered what I told her several years ago when our girls were the two new players on the same club Volleyball team where they barely played. Like most people I can barely remember what I said a few days ago. With tears in her eyes, she said you told me the cream will always rise to the top. I immediately remembered the Colorado tournament where we had spent A LOT of money only to see our girls standing on the sideline, cheering the team on while fighting back their own tears. Both girls were starters on their prior club teams and weren’t accustomed to not playing. As parents, we hurt when our children hurt, but I knew back then that that was a teachable moment my daughter needed in order to understand that other people’s opinions do not define her, not even her coach. The mother went on to explain how she and her daughter held on to those words whenever things got tough.
As I left the gym I reminisced on when me, my siblings and cousins would sit on my grandparents back porch rocking mason jars back-n-forth filled with fresh cow milk waiting for it to turn to butter. After a lot of patience and some sore arms, we would start to see the butter at the top of the jar. Big mama would tell us “the cream will always rise to the top”. Yes Big mama, it still does!
As a woman who happens to be black living in America, I couldn’t help feeling the frustration and pain of Serena Williams, and the sadness and pain of Naomi Osaka this past weekend. First let me say that I’m not one to watch sports on television. The only sport I watch is my daughter playing volleyball, and she’s pretty good I might add. But for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I was led to a sports station (ESPN I think) and saw the remaining minutes of Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka final match. I felt so many emotions in a short period of time, from confusion, disbelief, frustration, sadness, joy, gratitude and pride.
Confusion because when I tuned to the station showing the match, there was a lot of commotion going on. The crowd was loud, the commentators were trying to make their points of view, Naomi was crying as well as her mom, and Serena was angrily talking to the referee, eventually breaking her tennis racket. I’m use to turning to CNN seeing the “breaking news” banner and feeling confused, but this is tennis, what is going on! I sat there quietly holding my breath as my eyes and ears tried to sort out what was going on. I’m hearing “the coach was coaching in the bleachers”, I see Naomi profusely crying and trying to make her way up to her mom (she’s climbing up the side of a bleacher wall), and I see Serena crying and asking for an apology from the referee. My heart is full!
Disbelief that the referee inserted himself into the most important tennis game in 2018. As I listened to the commentators and my husband who watches and understands most sports, I couldn’t believe this was happening. The most important match of Naomi Osaka young life as she played against the woman she idolized as a child, and the recent mother, Serena Williams, who almost lost her life during childbirth with a pulmonary embolism (blood clot) were emotional wrecks on the tennis court. The referee decided to share the limelight, so instead of showing some restraint and allow the game to unfold, he decided to pass judgment thereby casting a gray cloud over the entire match. Both of these beautiful and strong women were holding a space for many young girls and woman worldwide only to have it tarnished by someone else’s EGO!
Frustration that women are held to different standards then men while doing the same exact jobs as men. My husband said that more women should become referees and possibly women should referee the women’s matches. I smiled and said the powers that be must first hire them, and even though I’m not familiar with the business of tennis I would guess that men are in control. I just read a commentary by Aditi Dholakia from the online news outlet the “Technician” entitled Why are all referees Men? If this indeed is true, then it’s time to get past the question and start solving the problem.
Sadness when I saw Naomi Osaka cover her face with a towel and sobbed uncontrollably on the court. I cried with her. It would have been wonderful to see tears of joy, and maybe they were but I sincerely doubt it. Naomi sat on the winners stand, lowering her sun visor to hide her tears, not able to relish in the moment that I’m sure she has dreamed of since turning pro at 16 years old (she started playing tennis at 3 years old). The sad part is that she will never be able get that moment back, it’s gone! My heart is full again!
Joy when I heard Serena tell the crowd to stop booing as she embraced Naomi. The fans not only stopped booing but started cheering for Naomi. These women came to play their best games, not to become a part of the #MeToo Movement, but when chosen by the universe you must oblige. So here I sit honoring Naomi’s youthful energy coupled with respect for her idol, and praising Serena for her strong determination while still making space for the next generation of players
Gratitude for being able to witness this moment is history when two great women tennis players stood together celebrating the win of one, while mourning the loss of the other.
Pride that I am a woman who happens to be black living in America where: freedom of speech is a right; change is on the forefront; and opportunities are boundless.
More on Serena Williams. Naomi Osaka doesn’t have a book on Amazon yet, but give her time.
My daughter came home excited about making the varsity volleyball team, however she was disappointed that she didn’t get the jersey number she had hoped for. I listened to her express her feelings about not getting her first, second or third choice and somehow ended up with “some random number” that wasn’t appealing to her. This conversation lasted all the way home but before we departed the car I started to speak.
“Sweetie never let a number define you because you’re more than just a number! You take that “random number” and make it the most “recognizable number” on the court. Your skills and talent can’t be contained nor measured by a number on your jersey. I know who you are and I know what you’re capable of doing, so let’s have a great season and remember to play your game!”
For the past several weeks I’ve been watching an 11-year-old boy courageously battle Stevens-Johnson syndrome.
Stevens–Johnson syndrome is a rare, serious disorder of your skin and mucous membranes. It’s usually a reaction to a medication or an infection. Often, it begins with flu-like symptoms, followed by a painful red or purplish rash that spreads and blisters.
I see machines assisting his body while I see him fighting to regain control of his body. His strength is undeniable and his courage is like a lion. As I watch this young boy make the long journey back to being the “A” student who loves school, the gamer who enjoys playing with his younger brother and friends, and the polite young man with a warm smile, I can’t help but notice his mother’s strength. I watch as she prayed for him, gently speaking words of encouragement and life into his ear. I watch as she touches his exposed finger and toe, causing his racing heart rate to slow down. As she listens to the doctor’s updates, realizing that his ICU residence and breathing tubes will last much longer then she had hoped, her strength and calm tone doesn’t waver in the presence of her son, but she is only human.
During the evening, away from her son, she texted, “I’m having a hard time coping with my fears”. Her seven friends texted back with words of encouragement and love. My text to her said:
(Name omitted) you know what fear is (false evidence appearing real). Release those thoughts and hold on to what God has placed in your heart and the heart of your son. Grace is all around you – your family, your friends and God! Hold on to that. Hold tight! The ride is filled with bumps and turns. It’s filled with highs and lows, but eventually it will stop and you will be able to get off and resume your life. Stay resolute while Grace covers you.
I understand that this life journey will sometimes bring you to your knees, but it’s how we get up and keep moving forward that defines us. I am humbled and grateful to be a witness and friend as both mother and son make this journey together.
Check out this book – Personal SJS Journey:
Who Could Have Imagined!: My Stevens-Johnson Syndrome Experience
To go through changes is normal … to remain stagnant is abnormal. Change may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will eventually wonder “how did I remain in that place for that long”.
